there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
