Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
