I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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