Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
