My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
