I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
