I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
