yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
