Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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