I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
