What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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