i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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