I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
