you mean i was at the winter classic?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just invented taco cereal.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
