he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They have beer where we have blood.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
