We're facebook friends in real life
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
