Is it normal to miss your booty call?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
