Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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