Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
