I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
