Apparently you make a good broom.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
