Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
