Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
