Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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