i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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