i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
