My hand turned me down
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
