mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
