I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
