We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
