wanna go halves on a baby?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
