Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
