do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
