I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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