I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
