We're like a lot better than the average bears
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
