Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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