No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
sex in a hospital.. check
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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