Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
