hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
this hospital has no fireball
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
