Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
