I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The ass gains better be worth it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
