mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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