please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
