I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He felt like a one man threesome
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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