Where is the hickey?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
