bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Someone shit on the floor
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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