Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
