I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
