Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
