why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
